Suitcase of Courage

Slip and Slide in Shakir

Desert Oversteer from *Axis of Oversteer* on Vimeo.
The Mosely-gate scandal takes another turn today as the Daily Mail suggest that Mosley might have been "set-up" my Mercedes for retribution against their $100m fine in 2007. Screenwriters couldn't think this shit up. Regardless, the cat is out of the bag, and his resignation is imminent.

Returning to racing, the F1 circus is in Bahrain this week (without Mosley) to a slippery track in the desert. Hopefully Massa can bounce back and have a race where he doesn't spin his Ferrari like an amateur. Take a look at Hamilton crashing over-doing on the slick curbs.

Lewis Hamilton Plc.

Amidst the hum drum this week about the Bearsuit taking over at Honda, and Renault being very naughty boys, Lewis Hamilton's advisers have come out with the idea of floating ole' Lew on the London Stock Exchange. The basics of the scheme, as have been reported so far, is that Lewis forms a company with him as the sole asset, and sells say 10% of it the public in an IPO. The new public shareholders then get some claim on the future income stream of The Greatest British Driver Alive/Tiger Woods version 2.0. Lewis, in return gets a nice fat pay day up front that he can use to buy a big casa in Switzerland, or a yacht in Monaco, or a mountain of Bolivian marching powder, or an entire year's vintage of working girls from some down on its luck Eastern Bloc country.

On first glance, it seems like a great deal for Lewis, but not so much for his investors. First of all, the entire scheme rests upon the ability of Lewis to command top dollar contracts from one of Macca/Ferrari/whoever for the next 10-15 years. No room for down years, or a loss of motivation, or a shite car. Remember how bright the future looked for one Jackie Villeneuve back in 1997. There is also that little occupational hazard inherent in driving cars very, very fast. The rumored IPO figure, something like $100 million, gives Lewis's future earnings stream a valuation of about $1 billion. A billion dollar valuation assumes, for example, that Lewis can get a contract similar to Kimi's, for around $50 million a year, gets a 10% raise every year, and can keep on driving for 15 years. That earnings stream, discounted back at 5%, is worth slightly more than $1 billion.  Now, if the deal includes a cut of Lewis's promotional money, then perhaps you could make a cause for a bigger valuation. Hopefully the deal includes some provision whereby public shareholders have dibs on say, the first $75 million of earnings, so that they are mostly paid off before Lewis gets any further money. In any case, certainly not a grannies and widows sort of investment.

This raises a couple of larger points that will be explored at a later date. First is the somewhat unremarked fact that Bernie E is a mere figurehead for the private equity boys that actually own F1 these days. Second,  the expansion to 12 teams and the infusion of cash into the sport reeks a little bit of late cycle thinking. Remember how many teams folded in the first couple of years of this decade, including one run by a former multi-time World Champion?  If the global economy turns down, can some of the carmakers, especially the ones who are sitting in the midfield, afford to pump $250 million or more a year into F1 teams without pissing off their shareholders? And will the assorted rich dudes floating around the paddock still want a piece of F1 if advertising revenues take a dive?

F1 off season: its all up in the air

    First off, Fernando Alonso is done with McLaren, after only one year, and with no apparent plans for where he's driving next. In a sport where the line between greatness and also ran is one year in a bad car (2007 Honda for example, eh Jenson?) it seems a bit insane that Alonso couldn't heal the wounds in Woking to secure a title bid for next season.
    Of course, it could be that McLaren are both sufficiently confident in Lewis' ability to become their lone title challenger and sufficiently fed up with the Spaniard to kick him out on principle alone. If there's anyone who should know not to have two headstrong title contenders in the same team, it should be McLaren after the year they've had. Hell, maybe they'll go so far as to hire Ralf Schumacher in the number 2 seat to act as a moving chicane between Lucky Lew and the chasers.
    Meanwhile, back in Spain Alonso was welcomed home by thousands in the town square of Oviedo in a scene we've seen each of the past two years. They know who their champion is.
    However, don't think Alonso is the only Silver Arrow who's in trouble these days. Teammate Bitter rival Lewis Hamilton has decided he's a bit short of change to contribute taxes to the British economy that helped him to where he is today and he's announced he's off to Switzerland to live in a country that's a bit more like life inside the McLaren corporate enclave. Seems Britain is a bit too gaga over the poor chap and he can't nip off to a movie without talking to people. The young man has assured his many fans its not because of the taxes because if it was, why didn't he move last year? Because last year you weren't making twenty million! Good thing he's releasing a "ghost written" non-autobiography this week about his complex tortured 22 year old self to boost those earnings back up.
    At the complete opposite end of next year's pit lane, Ferrari have anounced they're bringing grandpa Mike out of the ol Hall 'o Fame for some testing laps in Barcelona coming up. This has, of course, sent tongues a wagging all over the world as people speculate what it might mean. Could the Kaiser be coming back, where would he end up? Back alongside his old friend Ross Brawn at Red Bull? Or is he just having some jollies and checking to see if he can match kid King Kimi against the stopwatch?
    Ferrari's reasoning is that with the changes in store for next year technically, (no more traction control and driver aids) it makes sense to bring in someone who drove in Senna's era to help them sort things out. Of course, Pitpass isn't buying, and they've been running the headline, "Schumacher to McLaren" all week...
    Meanwhile not a word from our friend Kimi. After a week or two of spilling his heart like never before he's off into the Scandanavian hinterlands to party the winter away before coming back next year sharp as ever.
    The one thing we do know is that next year's grid could look a lot different, with potential scenarios looking as bizarre as Hamilton/Schumacher at McLaren, Raikkonen/Massa at Ferrari, Heikki/Webber at Renault, Coulthard/Alonso at Red Bull, among others. Only time will tell.

Bernie liquidates some assets

A Mercedes 540k special roadster owned by one Bernard M. Ecclestone Esq. sold at auction today for 3.9 million pounds ($8.1 million American pesos), which was just a hair under the high estimate of 4 million pounds. The roadster was part of an epic 40 car lot, valued at more than 15 million pounds, that Bernie is disposing of. The Bloomberg story noted that Ecclestone is "mostly liquidating cars he had kept in storage."

RM Auctions, who did Bernie's dirty work, describes the car in their catalog as follows:

With an important history of first delivery in Great Britain, a Pebble Beach-quality restoration, and recent mechanical refreshment and set-up, this is a showcase car of the highest quality throughout. 70 years after it emerged from the Mercedes-Benz Karosserie at Sindelfingen its visual effect is still immediately arresting, even among gatherings of the finest coachbuilt cars of the thirties and forties.

Mercedes-Benz built just 406 of the exclusive 540K models. Only 26 of them were the sleek, luxurious, powerful, imposing Special Roadsters like the exceptional example offered here. They are quite simply the rarest and most beautiful cars of their kind.

This most powerful, beautiful, and imposing Mercedes-Benz of the classic era still has the grandeur to stop traffic by looks alone – then leave it far behind as the howl of its supercharger fades into the distance.

This car, of course, is not the kind of thing that will ever get driven, and instead will probably end up in the garage of some oil sheik in Dubai. But its nice to see Bernie slimming down his lifestyle a bit, after selling up most of his stake in F1 to CVC Capital Partners, a private equity firm, in 2005. Maybe one day he will try to get into the paddock and find that his all access hard coded pass no longer works. One can dream, eh?

The Draconian Fe(IA)rri and the McLaren Witch-Hunt

On Sunday, F1 fans were treated to a convincingly dominant drive from World Champion Fernando Alonso. Reeling in his teammate in the championship, he is now only 3 points from young Lewis. Though the weekend was marred with dark overtones, and on the podium and in the following press conference, Fernando seemed stoic about what was just achieved. Second placed Hamilton also seemed worried about his championship being destroyed by a court ruling and even considered that he might be "out of a job" next weekend.

The Stepneygate controversy has taken F1 down a dark path where effectively Ferrari could be handed the lead in both championships. It's a sad situation which we here at the SoC are colletively concerned that the best championship in years could be tainted by the FIA.

That is to say, we wouldn't dare to condone illegal activities by one team against another, but what is going on is a bit over the line. Always a sportsman, Jackie Stewart recently chimed in on the affair and has some particularly interesting insights. Firstly, he points to the corruptive relationship between the FIA and Ferrari. On the red love affair, "The FIA have historically been very close to Ferrari, closer to them than anyone else. There are more Ferrari representatives on the World Council than anybody else, and it seems that some of the most powerful people in this sport are more aligned to Ferrari than anybody else" Save for the on-track episodes of the brutal Schumacher, Ferrari always had their way in FIA hearings.

Stewart points out that Ferrari really should look inward and wonder how one of their senior team members could defect to such a magnitude in that "the very fact that this information came out of Ferrari means their own security and integrity level has to be judged." Indeed Ferrari will most likely examine why this happened but right now, they are concentrated on winning the publics support for the hearing.

In the hearing, the where and whens of the stipulated 780 page Ferrari document that was under McLaren's roof will be examined with an unknown measure of evidence. But as Stewart points out in this age of instant information, this could be commonplace, "Mostly it was intellectual before because it was in the mind, but now by the press of one button you can have 780 pages if you want. There's been the transfer of information going on since 1950 when modern Formula One began. So 57 years later I don't see much change."

When he was setting up his Grand Prix outfit in the mid-90's Stewart hired personnel from all the teams, "They came from Ferrari, McLaren, Williams, Benetton, Arrows, Minardi, Jordan, and every one of them brought knowledge with them that we could never have had without that." The knowledge from those members helped Barrichello get second place in their first year of competition at Monaco in 1997.

And lastly, Stewart points to the terrible outcome that could rear its head on Thursday. As he puts it the "dirty laundry" spread out for everyone to see. The coercive relationship between Ferrari and the FIA could have ramifications beyond the betrayal of the fans, but also sponsors realizing that F1 is a tainted sport. "It's a very dangerous set of circumstances that's occurring, and it's potentially threatening the financial foundations of Formula One. If this goes the wrong way, I could see major trouble with major multinational corporations wanting to get out because of corporate governance."

Sir Frank Williams as well is concerned about the financial future of Formula One due to the hearing. "This may cost Formula One some business," Willams said in Monza, "I just have a bit of concern that if it goes on much longer, it will deter sponsors who are currently present in F1, or who are close to coming in." Could Ferrari be so shortsighted to jeopardize Formula Ones future?

We hope for the best but, it seems like that isn't going to be the reality...

My Super Sweet Sports Sixteen: Sheikh Edition

First a little geography. The Persian Gulf is in the middle east, and serves as basically part of the US interstate highway system for USN aircraft carriers. As these behemoths of military might cruise northward on the ever so scenic journey toward Kuwait, the sports havens of the United Arab Emirates, Qatar, and Bahrain are all buzzing with activity right off the port bow. Bahrain and Qatar are separate entities, while the UAE is a conglomerate of seven emirates, the two most famous (and rich) being Dubai and Abu Dhabi. The president of these always comes from the Al Maktoum clan of Dubai.

The region in question

My Super Sweet Sports Sixteen, Sheikh Edition

As I'm sure many of you have heard, the Persian Gulf is a pretty crazy place. At one end, we have a nightmarish war that the SofC won't even begin to get involved in, and then at the other end you have the craziest shit sports have ever seen, which SofC very much wants to be a part of. The really wild part is that it's not that far between the two. From the dead center of Baghdad (using Google ruler) to the farthest point in the MSSSS,SE (My Super Sweet Sport Sixteen, Sheikh Edition) Dubai, its 850 miles. From the Persian port of Basrha, Iraq's southern most point, its only 260 miles to Bahrain!

So, we've established that this is one of the most stable regions to try and build a thriving tourism trade, with such luminary neighbors as Saudi Arabia and Iran that might pop over for a spot of tea at any moment. Oh, and I can't stop yet, because there are so many environmental issues to think about, like, what if the emissions from all these car races and development really do help burn a hole in the ozone that will cause the sea level to rise and all that beautiful stuff you built at sea level (the world, the palms, indoor skiing, the entirety of the region) will, lets just say that we better get a good show out of it all sooner rather than later.

Ski Dubai, the indoor winter sports complex

My Super Sweet Sixteen?

But lets take a look at the MSSSS,SE aspect. If you haven't seen the MTV show, My Super Sweet Sixteen, you may feel a little in the dark, (if you have seen it, skip to the next paragraph) and by no means should you go watch it to find out what I'm talking about, It will rot your brain. So the idea is that they go around and find fabulously wealthy families with spoiled rotten beyond belief kids and they do reality episodes about planing their "sweet sixteen" birthday. Much disgusting demanding ensues that results in dads buying just about anything you can imagine to make said terror happy. This seems entirely plausible, because most 16 years olds have accomplished a variety of great things in their long lives that deserve to be celebrated with Lamborghinis, tigers, and mansions.

The punch line being, basically the Persian Gulf looks like a Sweet Sixteen party for cash rich sports fans. We all knew that there were a lot of rich as shit sheiks in the region, but it wasn't until now that we knew they were such sports nuts. You can imagine the conversation between Khalifa bin Zayed Al Nahayan, president of the United Arab Emirates, and his contractor. (insert spoiled Spaulding voice from Caddyshack) "I wanna world cup soccer stadium, i wanna have the richest horse race in the world, I wanna have a F1 race, I wanna have my own race series, I wanna have a ski hill, I wanna water park, I wanna seven star hotel, etc etc)" Thing is, when your the boss of the UAE, you get all that, and he did.

Downtown Dubai

The Spoiled Children

This type of activity seems pretty normal though in the region, and Bahrain, Qatar, Abu Dhabi, and Dubai all seem hell bent on beating each other and having the best MSSSS,SE. First it was Dubai building their Sports City, complete with FIA sanctioned  soccer pitch, cricket stadium, horse racing arena, indoor ski hill, A1 Grand Prix, and seven star hotel. Bahrain however beat them to the punch with an F1 race, and Qatar decided to go the slightly more economical route of a bike stage race, which Tom Boonen has made his own. When presented with this level of competition, the UAE decided to throw their ace card on the table, Abu Dhabi.

Abu Dhabi's Yas Island, with F1 demo in forground

F1 in Abu Dhabi

Abu Dhabi is supposed to be the crown jewel of the middle east, the Monaco of the sands, so it was almost inevitable that they would convince Bernie an F1 race just had to be there. Last week they finished doing just that, and then held the most over the top race announcement you've ever seen. Some races will get a team or two to show and up say nice things about the future of the event, bring a couple of last year's cars and maybe get some test drivers to do some dough nuts if you're lucky. Abu Dhabi got Red Bull, Maclaren, Ferrari, BMW, Honda, and Renault to show up with their new cars. Not only that they had Kimi, Fernando, Massa and a bunch of other Sunday drivers there. The amount of money this cost them must have been spectacular, for it takes a lot to get these guys to stop important testing in Jerez and fly all their shit to the desert to do burnouts.

Nothing says "its my birthday" like a custom painted jet!

Renault makes me want to vomit

As part of the ongoing (and epic) lead up to the start of the new season in F1, SOC is previewing each team. Today is Renault  F1.

Do you ever get out of bed in the morning, look in your closet, and say, "damn, I wish I could wear light blue, yellow, orange, and white today?" Yeah, me neither. Unfortunately for us F1 fans, however, we are going to be subjected to a season of this vomitorious color scheme courtesy of Renault F1's new livery. They picked up ING, a Dutch bank, as their title sponsor, but were apparently unwilling to part with their traditional blue/yellow color scheme. So instead we are left with a Frankenstein car that is like ING branding fused on to last year's Renault. And lions. I'm not sure if its the whiskey coming up the back of my throat, but I'm feeling a little nauseous just thinking about this at the moment.

Anyways, on the to the really important things. Renault won the drivers championship last year behind the sublime talent of one Fernando Alonso, who has moved over to uncle Ronnie's grey house of boring for this season. They are left with the talented, if inconsistent, Giancarlo Fisichella, as their #1 driver, and new boy Heikki Kovalainen as the newest flying Finn. Quite frankly, of any of the top teams, this is by far the most underwhelming driver combo. I mean we all remember during the Aussie GP last year when the team was ripping on Fisi over the radio telling him that Alonso was like 5 tenths faster and he needed to pick up his game. And now he is the #1 driver. Crazy. He will have his best chance ever this year to win a championship, but one suspects that the car might not be up to it.

Key technical staff remain, including Pat Symonds, but years of underinvestment by corporate parent Renault may finally show this season. Renault won last year without the biggest budget, but they do not have a super talented driver this year to cover up the technical shortcomings of the car. Combine that with the switch to Japanese rubber, and we could see a bit of an off key year from the boys from Enstone. Expect Flavio to sweat through his shirts even more than usual. Hopefully three per race is in the budget for this year. At some point, Reggie CEO Carlos Ghosn needs to either man up and fund the team properly, or kill it, because purgatory is just painful, and not great PR either.

Prediction: 3rd in the constructors behind Mac and Ferrari. Fisi takes a couple of good wins, but finishes 4th in the drivers championship.

Americans abroad transfer madness

The big news in the EPL this weekend is the rift between Jose Mourinho and Roman Abramovich. The Chelsea gaffer, frustrated at the crappy players foisted upon him by management this past summer (stand up, Mr. Shevchenko), has been making noises about leaving the team and heading down to Real Madrid. In retaliation, the Chelsea board has refused to back any new signings in the January transfer window, even though the Blues definitely need help in defense and attack. Jose's rumored transfer targets in attack include Valencia's David Villa, supposedly available for the bargain fee of $100 million dollars, and Jermain Defoe of Tottenham. For defensive help, Jose is supposedly looking at some dude in Spain, an Israeli that plays for Bolton, and most deliciously, the starting centerback for the US mens national team.

Oguchi Onyewu, a naturalized US citizen by way of Nigeria, was one of the few 'nats to not shit the bed in Germany this summer. He has spent the past several years dominating the back line at Standard Liege, in Belgium. He and the team have apparently come to an agreement that Onyewu is free to leave for a bigger club this January, for the modest transfer fee of $2 million US. This bargain basement price means that he is the best, cheapest option for any team that needs help in defense. Besides Chelsea, Juventus, AC Milan, Real Madrid, and, er, Fulham, have also been linked to the player. The Fulham option is actually a pretty good one, because he would actually get minutes, instead of being injury cover for bigger stars. Plus he could join new signing Clint Dempsey, as well as Brian McBride and Carlos Bocanegra at the club. It would be like the mini US National team.

Mourinho quieted, at least for a nano second, the boardroom controversy by directing a 4-0 pantsing of Wigan on Saturday. Elsewhere, Arsenal fought back from being a man down to win 2-0 at Blackburn, the kind of game that would have resulted in a loss last year. This years team is getting better by the day, and having Thierry Henry back, rested, and hungry definitely helps. Man U and Liverpool both won, so the top four remains the same. The best game of the weekend was Newcastle at Tottenham, where the Magpies scored 2 goals in the last ten minutes to turn 1-2 into 3-2. More scores here.

Henry's wonderstrike:

Youtube vid here

Golden Balls is headed to the LA Galaxy

Remember SOC's earlier post about how MLS might manage to screw up the Beckham situation? Turns out it was just a head fake (hey, here at SOC were are all about snap judgments and wild speculation). As has been rumored for months, David Beckham is going to be wearing the pukish yellow green LA Galaxy jersey next year. And it gets even better. The salary figure floated by the MLS PR hacks is $250 million for five years, which has sent the blogosphere into a tizzy. That would make Beckham the highest paid player in any pro sport in the US. Alex Rodriguez, who even corporate Yankees fans thinks is overpaid, only makes $25 million a year, playing a sport that is popular, actually makes money, and has real TV contracts. Soccernista is appalled at the deal:

"I can’t stop thinking about the overall quality increase MLS could have if it diffused $250 million throughout the entire league.  New players added, quality players retained, higher quality players available to the USL…a relegation system, perhaps?  But to spend it on a single player who doesn’t start for his current club team and will never again appear for his national team?  That makes my lungs hurt."

So at first blush the thought of Becks trousering (greatest English English word ever) $50 million a year - several times greater than the combined salaries of every  player in MLS - is completely ridiculous. However, the excellent Ives Galcerap has done some reporting and found that the $250 million figure is basically bullshit. A total fantasy based on what Becks  *might* earn if the Galaxy hit certain profit targets, sell enough jerseys, and his personal sponsors think he can still hawk cellphones. Even though MLS isn't quite stupid enough to pay Mr. Spice a quarter of a billion dollars guaranteed, they still managed to bungle the announcement and piss off a bunch of loyalists. Writes Ives:

"Whoever came up with the idea of floating that number is an idiot because that bloated figure has diverted attention away from the positive news of his arrival in MLS. It has also made MLS the laughingstock of world soccer. Most importantly, it has left a bad taste in the mouths of a number of MLS players currently in the league who can't fathom how a league could pay a player more per year than it costs to buy an MLS franchise.

I'll say it one more time. $250 million is NOT his salary. I am efforting to find out what the actual salary is. If I had to guess, I would put it in the $6-10 million a year range. Yes, that's still high but at least it's in the ballpark of European star players."

So what do I think? I don't think that Beckham is washed up, at least not enough to matter in MLS. He was actually ok for Real Madrid when Capello let him play, and it wasn't his fault that the Galactico era imploded spectacularly. His ability to hit crosses and free kicks is far superior to anybody currently in the MLS. He will score goals, and ESPN will show them on Sportscenter, with regularity. The man has captained the English national team through two World Cups and two European Championships. He has dealt with the crushing weight of the British press and the expectation to win big tournaments. Even though he will be under the media spotlight in LA, it won't be like it was at Man U, or Real Madrid. He might actually enjoy his time in the league. Although I'm still having trouble imagining him flying coach on the red eye to road games with his teammates.

As for what it means for the league, I think that signing a player like Beckham, who is only 31, is a big coup for the league.  MLS is on the front page of ESPN right now, and national media outlets are running big with the story. The general sports following public will at least give the league a look now. It also gives jackasses like me (the preferred appellation is "euro snob" I believe), who like soccer but generally can't be bothered to watch MLS games, a reason to follow MLS. And now that LA has made their big splash, the pressure will be on other teams, notably the Red Bulls, to do something comparable. By the middle of this summer, there could be a half-dozen name players plying their trade stateside. I should also say that I'm not worried about the MLS pulling a NASL and spending itself into oblivion. The MLS has always made sure that the sums add up, and its in their DNA to be financially conservative.  There is certainly more of a business case for paying Becks a huge salary, especially because it will mostly be from corporate sponsors, than their ever was for record execs to import Pele, Beckenbauer, et all to play for the Cosmos and do blow at Studio 54.

Its going to be fun to see how this pans out, and I'm excited that the MLS is finally doing something not-dull or mind numbingly retarded. So lets just sit back and enjoy the media circus. About soccer. In the US. Who'd have thunk it?

Oh, and now the tabloids get to follow crazy space robot with bolt ons Posh Beck's attempt to re launch her signing career.  That is sure to be a dismal failure, but watching train wrecks is generally entertaining. And now Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will have some friends to invite over for dinner.

 

Footballers whips...

And now for a bit of tabloid style reportage... Profesional "footballers" in Europe have arguably the sweetest lives of any athletes on the planet. They play at huge stadiums in front of rabid fans all over Europe, make truly obscene amounts of money, date pretty much whoever they want, and most importantly, rock a hilariously expensive and diverse array of cars. None more so than David Beckham, and the parking lot at Chelsea is veritable sea of exotica. Seems Roman Abromovich's lavish taste was transfered on to his players. So, after much research, I bring you a list of footballers and their cars.

David Beckham - Ferrari F430, Ferrari 550, Bently Arnage, Hummer H2, Audi Q7, Aston DB7, Aston Vantage, Lamborghini Gallardo, Rolls Royce Phantom, and others. He makes $220,000 a week for god's sake...
Claude Makelele - Mercedes Mclaren SLR
Didier Drogba - Mercedes S65 AMG
William Galles - Mclaren Mercedes SLR
Glen Johnson - Aston Martin Vanquish
Frank Lampard - Aston Martin DB9, Mercedes G500 AMG
Damien Duff - Ford Mustang (wtf)
Scott Parker - Porsche Cayenne Turbo
Mateja Kezman - Porsche Cayenne Turbo
Petr Cech - Lexus RX330 (wtf!!!)
John Terry - Bentley Continental GT
Joe Cole - Ferrari 612 Scaglietti
Thierry Henry - Mclaren SLR
Micheal Owen - Jaguar XJ
Ashley Cole - Audi TT (time for an R8 me thinks)
Dennis Bergkamp - Range Rover Sport
Wayne Rooney - Ford SportKa (oh, how PR stunts can hurt)
Rio Ferdinand - Ferrari 360 Spider